How many workers stayed quiet about higher pay because asking felt uncomfortable
You rehearse the salary figure before a pay conversation, then decide whether your voice can carry it. A worker benchmark puts that private hesitation in context.
By Maria Lee·
Among workers who skipped asking for higher pay, 38% felt uncomfortable asking in 2023, against 46% of ages 18 to 29 and 19% of ages 65 and older. Pew Research Center reported those figures in an April 5, 2023 analysis of U.S. workers. But the unease was not evenly shared: women were at 42%, while men were at 33%.
The Pew analysis looked at workers who were not self-employed, had one job or one primary job, and were asked about the last time they were hired. Most U.S. workers in that group said they did not ask for higher pay than the initial offer.
The reason was comfort, not a rejected request
The 38% figure is narrow and useful. It is not the share who asked and were turned down. It is the share, among workers who did not ask for higher pay, who said they did not feel comfortable asking.
Pew also reported another reason for staying quiet: satisfaction with the first offer. Men were more likely than women to say they were satisfied with the pay initially offered, 42% vs. 36%. Women were more likely than men to cite discomfort, 42% vs. 33%.
The ask has to survive your own voice
A pay request can be one sentence: “I was hoping for higher pay.” Yet that sentence has to be spoken to another person. Pew’s 38% comfort figure puts a public benchmark on the pause before the words come out.
If the moment feels like a communication hurdle, it sits close to what is communication apprehension: worry about having to speak when the stakes feel high. In a pay talk, the sentence is short, but the reaction may feel big.
Women hit 42% on discomfort, while men were at 33%
Pew found that women who did not ask for higher pay were more likely than men to say they did not feel comfortable asking: 42% vs. 33%. The same analysis found the opposite pattern on satisfaction with the first offer, where men were higher at 42% vs. 36%.
Those are different answers to the same silence. One worker may stay quiet because the offer seems acceptable. Another may stay quiet because the request itself feels hard to make. Pew’s gender figures separate those reasons.
Younger workers had the highest uneasy share
Age sharpened the pattern. Pew reported that 46% of workers ages 18 to 29 who did not ask for higher pay said they did not feel comfortable asking. For ages 30 to 49, the figure was 37%. For ages 50 to 64, it was 34%.
The oldest group was lower. Pew reported 19% for workers ages 65 and older. Take two workers who both stayed quiet the last time they were hired: one in the 18-to-29 group and one in the 65-and-older group. Pew’s benchmark puts them in very different comfort bands.
Every gender and age group Pew reported
Here is the full gender and age breakdown Pew quoted for workers who did not ask for higher pay and said they did not feel comfortable asking. The highest figure Pew reported was 46% for ages 18 to 29. The lowest was 19% for ages 65 and older.
| Gender or age group | Didn’t feel comfortable asking for higher pay |
|---|---|
| Men | 33% |
| Women | 42% |
| 18 to 29 | 46% |
| 30 to 49 | 37% |
| 50 to 64 | 34% |
| 65 and older | 19% |
Workers who did not ask for higher pay and said they did not feel comfortable asking
What this means for you
If asking for more pay makes your voice tighten, Pew’s 38% figure says that discomfort was not rare among workers who stayed quiet. If you are younger, Pew’s highest age figure was 46%. If you are a woman, Pew reported 42%.
Before the conversation, separate the money decision from the speaking task. Write the sentence you want to say. Then say the exact request out loud until it sounds like a sentence, not a surprise. You do not need to erase nerves before you ask. You need the words ready enough to leave your mouth.
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